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robin williams live on broadway transcript


Bob, you wanna get out of the pool right now? “Do not go to phase two”! You were Diana Ross.

It was amazing when the Pope gathered all the cardinals in Rome and went… The only problem is, he’s dressed like Liberace’s stunt double. For those who never been to SF, the bridge is bright orange.

I went “Uh-uh, honey, no! This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Robin Williams Live On Broadway. I’m saying, “You’re lucky he just bit somebody”.

A clue, Sherlock!

And it’s going up you! Robin Williams. “I must talk to Jesus Christ”! If Al Sharpton bails on your ass, even rats are going, “Man, that guy’s quick”!

And now people are going: "I've got a cure for this!". And there’s poor W. going, “Shit, I can’t even spell that”. Even a German geneticist couldn’t have thought that one up!

– No!

I want the guy who does Mexican soccer to do golf one time.

We made it to the sixteen, baby! When you hit 50, the old machinery doesn’t work so well. And then you keep drinking ’til you’re in your 80s and you’re on a dialysis machine, doing liver dancing Michael Flatline. “Yeah? George came back from Japan, he went “I went to the Coyote Conference” – No, it’s Kyoto. Before the lethal injection, they do an alcohol swab, which is so nice! There’s only one animal who can tell you if she’s happy and wants to mate. Robin McLaurin Williams was an American stand-up comedian and actor. It’s time to saddle up”. So that’s the way you like it! We’re dealing with fundamentalists… The Amish are fundamentalists, but they don’t try and hijack a carriage at needlepoint. “Could people be quieter, I’d like to hear the grass grow”. Finally the PCs. Don’t be afraid! You do the math”! No! The Geneva Convention. Ten years from now, it’s already starting to happen.

With Robin Williams. “What was I gonna do”!? Union guys going “Don’t touch it, Mr. Williams”! You’re trying to keep them involved.

The whole anthrax thing had people going… They said “Don’t open your mail”! We are now finding ourselves once again drown to England during these troubled times. You did a good job.

And you say “OK, daddy man”!

He came with certain bugs in the software. It was around his fucking neck!

All original photographs and articles are copyright to their respective owners. Mother Teresa never had a line of products, her own perfume… “Compassion” by Mother Teresa. “I have nothing left”. So you’ve had a problem too, I guess. Babies, lucky they don’t have any teeth becayse they’d knock them out. Oh, yeah, the tities are out today! All of your gentle sports are no longer gentle. And the Indians go “We have a gift for you”. He’s like Yasser Arafat of baseball. The Canadians won the gold medal in hockey. Thank God men aren’t like that!

Trailer park Tuesday! He was like, “I’m perfectly fine”! “I will flex my ass and go down the ramp”! Sarete Japanese, We’re here in New York, fucking New York!

But then I’ll put a little pool and a sand box to fuck with your ball again. That’s why we have all the saints that did all those amazing things.

It’s frightening. Just to see all those waspy motherfuckers going, “Oh, dear Christ”! And, he was fighting against Hitler!

“I’m just putting on the glove, Mr. Williams”.

“Welcome to Custers. Starting as a stand-up comedian in San Francisco and Los Angeles in the mid-1970s, he is credited with leading San Francisco's comedy renaissance. “I don’t care. I’m over here! “That’s right”!

Read the top line.

“They man’s gonna be fucking with you now, Habib”. In Houston they got Enron field. George W. Bush talked to the stock market and... it's like having a leopard giving you a facial. So I feel like going “Be vewy, vewy quiet”. Because the moment they pull that tube out of your ass, you are an evinrude! But Homeland Security, it sounds like Homefront Security, which was England during WWII. When Moses said to pharaoh “Let my people go”. Fuck that’s what we’ll call it, a stroke, cause each time you miss you feel like you’re gonna fuckin die. An Arab in Utah is like an albino at the Apollo. But there is one country that watches out for all of us the Swiss, ya! – Here’re your raisins. “I’m OK”! Oh yes, my little salmon-head friend! Thank God!

Yes! Thank you!

Is a little passive aggressive though. If you go to South West Airline they’re going, “Sorry, you’re not fat, you’re horizontally challenged”. Get out”! I’m going, “Honey, you gotta pick a race first”. Who dropped the honey-baked ham on the Muslims?


Soon it will be Total Information Technology, “TIT”. “Why didn’t you call me after the Mexico game”? And there’s Ashcroft in the back, “Work the arms, you asshole”! 58:30. “You can’t fucking be serious”! Do not go to lift off”! I never knew that Ray Charles had a decorating license.

That was a pretty short list.

“I saw him sucking on a pork hot-dog, hitting on Mother Teresa”.

“They come in size one and below”. “This is not a human”!

I said wait a minute!

Who’s your daddy? King Car Group Owner,

I hope you don’t have stocks! What am I, a bowling ball? The problem is that the Hummer and the National Guardsmen are in jungle camouflage.

Goddamn! “We did it perfect, huh”! A man we thought could only lose, but somehow won, because of confused Hebrews. And you realize how drunk they get, they could wear a skirt and not care! It said on the little side of the chips, “May cause anal leakage”.

Li Jingliang Highlights,

This script is a transcript that was painstakingly transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Robin Williams Live On Broadway. Okay, he has one testicle, he’s aerodynamic. [Pantomimes Lassie giving Bush Heimlich maneuver, then barks] You feel like a Pinata, you think little Mexican kids are gonna come out and go, “Get the presents”!

We have moved trouble from here, to here.

Good night! When the atomic bong goes off, there’s celebration! Phoebe Tonkin 2020 Age,

– I see that! - I'm the best man!
“It better be, Mary! Jesus said, “It is not you Simon”.

I guess they realized the word “half pipe” meant something. I will finish”! How can you take an economic crisis seriously?

He was in freestyle. Share this: Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window) Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Related.

– Don’t ask, Mrs. Trotski!

You don’t want somebody going, “How are we today… Oh, a dove”! Old men with pitchforks and colostomy bags, defending England!

Moving away. There you go”! “OK, fuck! Danger! “Everything is perfectly OK”.

– She wants you to lift your shirt. And then the pharaoh comes, the sea closes and he calls to his cat-like God but the cat-like God can’t do shit, cause it’s afraid of water.

Fritzi Burr Seinfeld, I just can’t feel my tongue”. That’s not good. “So fabulous”!

– Not the drapes!

Guildford Flames Players Salary,

Women are going “Uh-uh”. – Oh, fuck sure, eh?

“Look, I’m giving a cigarette to a baby”. You could be polite during the day and all of a sudden you’re “Arigato gozaimas”. You’re a Kennedy, not a Maisy’s day float, come on! In the World Cup they always claim there’s bad refereeing, someone may have been paid off. – Are you a skilor? Give me 120 psi!

I’ve gone to the zoo and had monkeys go… Anybody who thinks the zoo is a happy place, go and watch the monkeys wait for groups of school children. Remo Beach, motherfucker!

You have lost thoughts from your childhood. “The medals aren’t selling well”. Even the alligator’s going, “Asshole”! Up to that point, all the names in the Bible are very Jewish. It’s said that night, Jesus turned to his disciples, and said “One of you shall betray me”. Even kids are going “Rabbits don’t lay eggs. And after five Jack Daniels… “Tie the yellow ribbon”! Gates, when did you realize you are creating monopoly”? “I don’t know where it fucking is…” “I’m gonna buy me a big ass house, but I can’t find it.

God just went click”.

Two yellow cards, “Red card”! “Yeah, I’m Jerry Christ, whoo-dee-doo”!

– How did it happen?

Even the poor animals like Ling Ling the panda, she must mate, so you can build the wing on the zoo.

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